Dear Doctor...

A letter to all my previous interns who’s now halfway through their residency training and I guess to all physicians and future MD’s out there struggling to make sense of all the toxicity of their everyday life:

Dear Doctor,

There would be days when everything’s not going your way
and you’d feel like giving up, but always remember your goals and dreams
and use that to fuel yourself to move forward.

Things are tough especially when you’re in your first year of residency,
or starting out in your practice... it’s like you’re being tested to see how long you’d last. 
You will fail every so often, but learn from the lessons of every past mistakes. 
Be honest, and always do the right thing. 
Once you get through your first year, things don’t get any easier,
but then you’re much tougher and wiser so there’s nothing you couldn’t really handle. 

Life is tough. There are no shortcuts to get to where you want to be.
I just hope that in the pursuit of your dreams you don’t get lost or loose yourself in the process.
Be compassionate, be empathetic and be kind always.
Hang in there and pursue that dream with passion and determination.

You will get there when you are meant to get there and not one moment sooner.
So relax, breathe and be patient.

Love,

A psychiatrist trying to make a difference in this world, one day at a time...

Courage, Dear Heart

Dear Heart,

     We have gone through so much over the past couple of years.

     You know my deepest secrets, and you're good at keeping them.

     You flutter with excitement whenever something good happens in my life.  You have been bruised and broken, and shared with my pain, you helped me hang on when I was on the verge of giving up. 

     You have kept me grounded during the times when I wanted to forget who I am.   You reminded me that hurting is not an excuse for me to make a fool of myself, and so I chose the high road.  

     Thank you for helping me weather the storms in my life.  A few years back, I thought I could never get out of the sadness, the emptiness, and the anger that consumed me.  I was shattered and broken, but somehow you've helped me pick up the pieces of my life again. 

     Even as I was silently hurting, you still beat for me every single day.  You reminded me of the things that matters most in my life.  

     Thank you for allowing me to feel how it is to be happy, to be sad, to be afraid, to be angry, to love, to hate and to forgive.  These emotions and more is part of what makes me human.

     Our journey is far from over.  There would still be battles to be fought, and we still have so many things ahead of us.  And as what Aslan whispered to Lucy in the book, I say to you my friend, "Courage, dear heart..." 

     There is nothing in this world that we can't face together...

         

Sun, Sea and Me...

I have been out of the blogging sphere for a very long time.  I keep telling myself I need to go back to writing, yet when I start to sit down and try to put my feelings into words, things just go blank.  I guess I just had a lot on my plate lately, and I needed to sort things out for myself as well.

The past weekend, I had the opportunity to break away from my usual routine and head off to Daanbantayan with hubby and the kids.  I knew that I needed time away from the busy city life and from being a psychiatric resident even just for one day.  Even the thought that I had my monthly visitor didn't dampen my mood.  I was looking forward to a day at the beach, enjoying the breeze and feeling the sand in my toes.

The sea has a calming effect on me.  Did I ever mention that I grew up in our ancestral home, with the beach at the back of the house?  I remember learning how to swim by being thrown by my uncle into the water.  I would try my best to swim like a dog until I reach the foot bridge.  My brothers and I had so many happy childhood memories spent in our backyard with the sea within our reach.  

I just love the feel of the salt sea air on my skin,  I could just sit down and stare into the ocean until the sun sets and the day is over.  I guess we all need time to escape from the worries of everyday life and just live our life the best way we know how.  That one day spent at the beach has helped me recharge and put a lot of things in perspective.  It made me realize that no matter how busy we all get, we must never sacrifice the things that we all hold close to our hearts.  Somehow, I finally decided to slowly go back into doing the things I used to do... Taking small steps one day at a time...

What Are You Made Of?

It is said that the human body is made up of different types of cells which is also known as the building blocks of life.  We have shape and structure because of the bones and muscle tissues in our body.  We have a heart that pumps blood into our body and a brain that helps us with movement, coordination and executive functioning of other systems in our body.

But aside from the anatomic and physiological factors,  what are you really made of?  What defines your humanity?  That is something worth thinking about, right?

The values and lessons passed on to us by our parents and other persons who have influenced us, life changing experiences, failures, triumphs, happiness and heartbreaks... these are just some things that may answer the question above.

So I dared to sit down and think about my own person, what am I made of?  If the power puff girls were made of sugar and spice, and everything nice, I guess I would say that the lessons I learned from life has helped me to be the person that I am right now.  The heartaches and broken promises, the struggles and the sacrifices played a vital role in making me a much stronger person.  The realities I had to face when I finally stepped out of my comfort zone helped me appreciate that there is more to discover in life and that there are endless possibilities out there waiting to be discovered.

The thought that there is joy in simple things, that love conquers all, that happiness is always a choice and that with God all things are possible... I am made up of these beliefs and they play a big part in my humanity.

Indeed, humans are fragile creatures, but I know that there is more to us than just broken dreams and broken promises...