Resident Doctors are Real Doctors

When I first read the article circulating online questioning whether resident doctors are real doctors, the first thing that came to my mind was that the person who wrote it must have had a really bad experience in the government hospital she was referring to.  I understand the frustration of having to wait for the doctor to arrive, knowing that a family member, a loved one or a friend is in need of medical attention.  But I do not see it as an excuse to call the resident who attended to your friend as a "fake doctor".  And what were your basis for saying that?  Just because he did not answer you in English makes him a fake doctor?  Don't you think It would be rather awkward for us to speak to our Filipino patients in English?  In government service, majority of the patients we see come from the low socioeconomic  groups, and I could not imagine how uncomfortable it must be for a patient to listen to his doctor speak to him in English rather than in his own dialect.

While a lot of my colleagues are outraged by this article, I on the other hand am saddened by the fact that the person who wrote it failed to get her information's straight.  I personally believe that journalists have the right to share their opinions based on FACTS, not on their own beliefs.  It seems to me that the author did not even bother to do her  research on what a resident doctor is, but chose to question the eligibility of resident doctors instead.  I also find it offensive for the author to claim that 90% or even 99% of patients going to the ER will die because nurses and doctors are not humane, according to her standards.  Again, this information shared by the author is not based on statistics, but only on her own assumptions.  This for me is irresponsible journalism at it's finest!

I feel strongly about the article, because I am a resident doctor myself.  I find it insensitive for the author to look down and belittle all doctors and nurses because of that experience she had in one of our government hospitals.  Assuming that she may have been disappointed with how the resident doctor handled her patient, it still does not give her the right to accuse him of being a fake doctor.  I will not deny the fact that there are some doctors who can be incompetent, but the article is just unfair for those medical practitioners or doctors who work hard to deliver quality health care to their patients.

I wonder what ever happened after the resident doctor arrived?  The author never mentioned it in her article.  I hope that the proper medical attention was given to the patient.  And to answer your question ma'am,YES, "resident" doctors are "real" and licensed doctors, duly certified by the Professional Regulation Commission.  

And with that I rest my case.

A Bittersweet Farewell to 2014

It is past 2 in the morning.  The house is quiet, but I could still hear the sound of fire works from a distance, and people celebrating new year on the streets...

Before I personally welcome 2015, I would want to take time and reflect on the year that was...

2014 was life changing for me.  It was a year that brought me a lot of challenges, disappointments and frustrations... But I am most grateful to have survived all the trials that came my way.  I thank the good Lord for blessing me with my family and friends who helped put a smile behind all the pain that I was going through.  

It was a year of new beginnings and second chances, a year of realizations and awareness, a year of gaining new learnings and insight especially in the career path that I have chosen.

2014 was a year that honestly started out really bad for me, but eventually things all fell into place in God's perfect time.

As I look back on the year that was, I try to write all my hurts in the sand hoping that the winds of time can blow them all away.  I want to thank everyone who has been a part of my year.  

 To my husband who has been my constant partner in life, I love you... we have gone thorough so many things together and I thank you for sticking it out with me through good times and bad.  They say that nothing in this world is permanent, but I dare say that our love is something that can withstand the test of time, we have proven that for 19 years.  Despite everything we have been through , I still believe that life has been good to us and I continue to pray for God's guidance especially in our marriage.  

To my kids who are by far God's greatest gift to me, thank you for giving me the chance to know how it is to love unconditionally.  

To my family who I miss the most especially during holidays, I thank God everyday for you.  I would not be who I am today if not for papa and mama, who have always been supportive of me, and my brothers who I love dearly... I guess growing up with 3 younger brothers to care for has helped me become a more patient and nurturing person :). I love you and I miss you all so much.

To my in-laws, nephews and niece... You are treasures I hold close to my heart dearly...

 To my relatives, friends, workmates, and mentors, "thank you" for being a part of my life.  I hope that I am able to touch your life the way that you have touched my life in meaningful ways...

As I bid farewell to 2014, I welcome 2015 with a hopeful heart, a stronger faith and more patience, and understanding to everyone around me.  

May we have a lot of love within ourselves to share to others and may we continue to be a blessing to all.  May we face 2015 with strength, courage and me we never ever lose hope.  Above all, may we continue to thank the Lord for all His blessings! 

Happy New Year everyone!!

 

 

 

What Are You Made Of?

It is said that the human body is made up of different types of cells which is also known as the building blocks of life.  We have shape and structure because of the bones and muscle tissues in our body.  We have a heart that pumps blood into our body and a brain that helps us with movement, coordination and executive functioning of other systems in our body.

But aside from the anatomic and physiological factors,  what are you really made of?  What defines your humanity?  That is something worth thinking about, right?

The values and lessons passed on to us by our parents and other persons who have influenced us, life changing experiences, failures, triumphs, happiness and heartbreaks... these are just some things that may answer the question above.

So I dared to sit down and think about my own person, what am I made of?  If the power puff girls were made of sugar and spice, and everything nice, I guess I would say that the lessons I learned from life has helped me to be the person that I am right now.  The heartaches and broken promises, the struggles and the sacrifices played a vital role in making me a much stronger person.  The realities I had to face when I finally stepped out of my comfort zone helped me appreciate that there is more to discover in life and that there are endless possibilities out there waiting to be discovered.

The thought that there is joy in simple things, that love conquers all, that happiness is always a choice and that with God all things are possible... I am made up of these beliefs and they play a big part in my humanity.

Indeed, humans are fragile creatures, but I know that there is more to us than just broken dreams and broken promises...

Senseless

"Everything happens for a reason".  That is what I tell myself when life diverts from its normal path and I can't seem to take control of the wheel.  Somehow when you tell yourself that, you start to convince yourself that things in your life don't always go as planned and that once in a while you have to let go and let the big guy up there take control of your life.  

But what if something as terrible as the violent death of someone you know happens? No amount of reason can justify the killing of doctor who has shown nothing but kindness and generosity to his patients.  The first time I heard the news that a doctor was gunned down at his clinic, I was in shock! This is not the first time that such an incident happened here in Cebu.  Then when I found out that it was a close friend of ours, I was in total disbelief.  I immediately called up my husband, silently hoping and praying that Dr. Abbu was okay.  Ross answered his phone I could hear a lot of background noise, he told me he was at the OR and sadly my husband blurted out the words I had been dreading, "Chin, wala na si Dr. Abbu."  Those words pierced my heart and the tears just started falling. I had to get up, leave my desk and compose myself.  Memories of the last time I saw him flashed through my mind, he had this big smile that would brighten up any room.  He would always give me a hug or a pat on the back whenever we would see each other.  It is just so sad knowing that he had to leave us in such a tragic way.  I often wonder what was going through his mind during those last few moments of his life, and it hurts to think that he might have felt fear when he saw that gun being aimed at him and pain when the bullet pierced his arm and his chest.  He did not deserve to die that way, no one deserves to!

There are still questions that might never be answered... wounds that might never heal, a lot of us are still in a state of shock and denial.  For others, Dr. Abbu might just be a name on the news, but for those whose lives he has touched, he was a kind person, who always has that smile on his face.  He had a good heart and a generous spirit.  I would never forget your advice to Ross and me, to always value our family above all things, and to be grateful for whatever it is we have right now.  Thank you Doc, it was a blessing to have known someone like you.  We might never understand why you were taken so soon, but I pray that you find peace in the arms of our Creator.

Rest in peace Dr. Abbu,  my prayers are with you as you journey back home to our Creator...

Healing In Time

When you fall down and cut yourself, the wounds do not heal overnight.  It goes through stages of wound healing.  The first few days would be the most difficult because the wound is fresh and the pain would constantly remind you of how you got injured in the first place.  The next few days, the skin starts to repair itself by granulation tissue formation, neovascularization and eventually scar formation or remodeling. In a couple of weeks the wound would be completely healed, but the scar remains as a reminder of the wound that once was in it's place.

But unlike physiologic wound that follows the same healing process regardless of the wound severity, healing from pain caused by emotional or psychological trauma is a totally different story.  Healing usually takes time... a lot of time, but sadly for some healing does not come at all.

Pain is inevitable, that is true.  No one is free from pain.  It is part of our lives... pain is what makes us human.  We all have been victims of it one way or the other.  Pain from a broken heart, failed relationships, pain from loss of a loved one, betrayal, or pain from life's failures and disappointment.  So when a person gets hurt, when does healing come in?  I believe that healing starts when you learn to forgive the person who caused you pain and slowly learn to let go of all the painful memories you hold in your heart.

I personally have my own share of hurts and disappointments in my life.  The pain can be so overwhelming that at one point I was afraid I might never get over it.  But I would not allow myself to suffer for the mistake of others.  I owe it to myself to brush away the tears, pick myself up and move forward. 

To heal and recover from life's major injuries is a choice.  Of course it helps if you have a strong support system rallying behind you.  But even if you have a whole pep squad cheering you on, the only person that can help you is yourself.  Healing should begin within you.  Start with forgiveness.  Forgive those who have hurt you as well as forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you.  Then comes acceptance.  Accept that the past can never be changed and that things happen for a reason.  Learn to let go.  Let go of the things you have no control of, and be hopeful that beautiful things are yet to come.

Even if your heart has been broken into a million pieces, you can always mend and put the pieces back together again.  It may take a while before you start feeling whole again.  Healing is a daily process of forgiveness, acceptance and letting go.  Let time heal the wounds and help you forget the painful memories of the past and allow yourself to look forward to a wonderful tomorrow.

 

A Work in Progress

I have been on hiatus from blogging for quite some now... 2 months and 1 week to be exact.  I just had so many things going on and it overwhelmed me to the point where each day passed by in a blur.

The past months I felt like I was walking on thin ice and any moment I could just fall deep down in cold waters and sink into oblivion.  There were days when I wanted to just crawl into a ball and cry myself to sleep.  But most days I carry on with my life trying to be okay because I had to be for the sake of my loved ones.

  I thank God for work because it kept my mind from all the things I did not want to think about.  But sometimes the painful memories finds itself slowly into consciousness and I battle with myself every time the hurt sets in.

You may see me with a smile on my face, but behind those smiles is a woman who has gone through her worst nightmares but managed to wake up from it and face a brand new day.  

Things are much better now.  Everything is where they are supposed to be.  I thank the Lord for giving me the strength to face each day with a happy heart.  Of course there are bad days but I never let it get the best of me.

I have learned that every day is a work in progress.  That we should learn to live each day as it comes and try not to worry about what happens next. I too am a work in progress. There are times when I fall into the sadness spell, but I guess that is okay as long as I know how to snap out of it before it eats me up whole.

In summary, I guess no matter what you have been through, no matter how difficult things are right now.  I promise you, things will be okay.  You will be okay.  Believe me I have been there, and I can say that I am more than okay.

The Past

Every person has a painful past.

No matter how strong you appear on the outside.  

Even if you put on a happy face...

I know that deep inside your heart 

There is a part that silently bleeds in pain.

Sometimes we choose to hide the pain behind our smile...

We choose to go on with our lives and pretend 

That somehow, someday that pain would go away...

But no matter how we try to hide, 

We can never run away from the painful memories...

So instead of trying to get away from the past, 

Sometimes it might be best to accept everything that happened..

To learn to live with the past and try to move on for the future...

To let go and free ourselves from thinking about what might have been...

To one day look back at the past without feeling the pain in your heart.

..

We Got Inked

One of the many things on my bucket list is to get a tattoo.  And finally I was able to do that a week after my birthday.  My husband and I decided on getting a couple's tattoo and we initially wanted to have a Latin verse tattooed as an anklet but then our tattoo artist suggested to have it on the lateral aspect of our foot.  Which may I say was a more brilliant idea!

We were both feeling anxious and excited at the same time.  I knew it was going to be painful but surprisingly the pain was tolerable enough for me to even think of getting another one in the near future.

After our tattoo session, a bit painful but happy with the result.

Guess who's feet belongs to who, lol!!

Amor Vincit Omnia... indeed Love conquers all :)

In Remembrance...

Today marks the 40th day of the death of so many.  As we remember the lives of those who were painfully taken from us on that fateful day of November 8, 2013, we also want to pray for all those who lost their loved ones and friends, all those who were left behind to mourn the death of a parent, a spouse, a child or a friend. 

May you find the courage and strength to pick up the pieces and start over again, may you find enough reasons to smile again and may you find it in your heart to accept that everything happens for a reason. 

You may find it hard to understand for now but I pray that you find comfort and healing in those around you... and that in God's perfect time you will learn to say, "everything will be okay."

Handling The Blues

Today I felt really crappy.  Must be because I was not able to sleep well last night considering I was on 24 hours duty, or maybe because my hormones are acting up on me.  Good thing it's a local holiday so I was able to take the day off, head home and jump into bed.

One of my outlook in life is to always start your day on a positive note.  I always try to see the good side in everything.  But there are just days when the clouds seem to cover up the sunshine, and you feel really down and out.  I know you also have those days. 

But I am telling you that it's okay to feel sad sometimes, it's okay to feel down and out.  We are just humans and feeling those emotions are part of our humanity.  What matters is how we handle ourselves and how we face the "blues".

What do you do when you feel down?  Do you get on others nerves or do you shy away in a corner and be on your own until the sadness goes away?  I have my own little tricks to make the blues go away.  I sometimes go on long walks by myself to clear my head up, I put on my earphones and listen to music, be around happy people, I even try to sleep it off sometimes.  But one sure cure for me is to lift it all up to God in prayer.  I would sit in a corner at church and talk to Him about how I feel.  I don't pray for the sadness to go away, I just open up and somehow I know that when I walk out I would feel a little better.

Life is not all about the good things.  Sometimes we need to feel a little sadness to appreciate our life more.  I remember a quote which says, "When you feel sad, be a blessing to others instead."    So the next time you feel down, try not to focus on your sadness, but rather try to help out those who are in the same situation as you are.  Not only would you feel better, but you would help someone else feel better too.

Livin and Lovin It

It has officially been a month since I started my residency training.  I have now adapted to a whole new morning routine which includes waking up early, having breakfast with my two boys, and my daily walk from the main building where I log in for our biometrics, to our own building located just beside the TB Pavilion.  I have also adjusted to going on 24 hours duty every 5 days, and sleeping alone in our residents quarters which I found out just recently that it used to be the operating room of the old hospital.  I guess that explains why there are tiles on the walls!  It can be creepy sometimes, but as long as I don't feel someone grabbing my foot I think I can manage...

I can't believe it has been a month!  Time really does fly when you enjoy what you are doing.  But working in our institution is not a walk in the park.  It's not easy to be hearing stories about how these patients suddenly changed their behavior, how a once loving son could suddenly turn violent towards his mother, or how a mother could do harm to her own child.  It takes a bucket of patience and a really big heart to be here, and I pray to the Lord each day to grant me the wisdom, the strength, the courage to help these patients and their families.

I still have a long way to go... but I am optimistic about what lies ahead of me.  I am living my life each and every day, hoping that somehow in my own little way I am able to make a difference to everyone I meet.  I am living each day looking forward to learning new things, and hopefully being able to share whatever it is I learn to those that would come after me.  I am living my life according to how I want to live it, not on how others expect my life to be.

We only have one life to live, so we might as well live it to the fullest.  Live a meaningful life and make sure you don't look back with any regrets.

Why limit yourself when there are endless possibilities waiting to be discovered?

For Love Of The Game

If there is one sport we all love in general, I would probably say it's "basketball".  I think every barangay in our country has a multipurpose gym with a basketball court.  And who has never seen a lamp post with a makeshift basketball ring and guys playing basketball on the streets?

This game has been my husband and his colleagues  favorite past time as well.  Despite their busy schedule in the hospital, they would find time to play with teams from other hospitals or even just a friendly game among themselves.

I can't even count how many basketball jerseys my husband has on our closet from all the basketball tournaments he has joined all these years.  But I salute the organizers and pharmaceutical companies who sponsor this kind of events.  It is an opportunity for these doctors to get away from hospital work, have fun and just enjoy! 

Sharing some photos from the recent CCMC Open, Celcoxx Cup and SHH Cup :)

Their team got 3rd place during the CCMC open

Warming up before the game

CCMC team for Celcoxx Cup

On their final game for 3rd place, only these players showed up for the game that Sunday.

Taken last Tuesday after winning the game against SHH floor 2 staff.

I can confidently say that their current team is the "team to beat" for the Sacred Heart Hospital basketball tournament, fingers crossed :)


My husband's number 1 fan :)

Sweet Cravings

My sweet tooth has been acting up again.  I have this craving for chocolates and cakes that I have yet to give in to.  But I did not have the chance to go out this week and satisfy these cravings since my son was sick, and I had to stay home with him the entire time.

And now as I am watching these food channels on cable, and all the yummy desserts on screen, I can't help but wish I was munching on something sweet.  On second thought, let me try to share my cravings.  Maybe writing about it would lessen the urge to grab the chocolate bar sitting on the fridge, or would it make things  worse?  We'll see...

I can't even remember  the last time I ate suman latik, that is why I asked my brother to bring some for me once they get back fromTacloban.

 

 Oatmeal raisin cookies from Mrs. Fields.  Too bad Cebu does not have an outlet,the ones you find in the grocery are not as good as the freshly baked ones.

Milk chocolate digestive biscuits from Marks and Spencer.  The kids enjoy this too.  Might grab one if we happen to go to Ayala this weekend, fingers crossed...

Blueberry cheesecake.  I wish I knew how to make one so I would not have to go to a coffee shop or dessert place whenever I crave for it, lol!

Moist chocolate cake with choco icing.  The ultimate comfort food :) 
 

Maltesers! I love these chocolate covered malt balls.  I remember the time when hubby bought  the bucket size from duty free, I was squealing with delight!
 

I don't want to sound shallow writing about my sweet cravings with the recent calamity in Luzon and the pork barrel issue our country is facing, but It's something that I want to share and I hope you guys don't mind.  

It seems writing about it helped lessen my cravings because I just want to doze off after posting this.  What food do you  usually crave for? I don't mind you sharing it with me :) 

 Always a food lover at heart ❤

 PS: I do not own these photos and simply got them online so credits to the owners of these photos.

 

Day 28: A quote you try to live by

Choose to be happy.  That is something I try to live by everyday.  Despite whatever life throws at you, how you react is your choice.  You can choose to be angry, frustrated, disappointed... but it would not get you anywhere.

You have a choice each and every single day.  Problems, trials and stress are part of life.  It is your choice whether you would let it affect you.   Life is too short to waste on negative emotions.

 So choose to be happy.  Whether things are a bit gloomy, even when you feel like the world is on your shoulders and life is weighing you down, I hope that you find it in your heart to still choose happiness.

There will always be a reason for you to be happy...

So live your life well and make the right choices...

Choose to be grateful, Choose to feel blessed, Choose to be happy...

I choose happiness ♥

Day 11: Share something inspiring you read today

Today when I opened FaceBook, I clicked on the Message From God app on my news feed, and I just want to share this because I know most of us can relate to what it has to say.  

"Today, we believe God wants you to know that fear won't get you where you want to go."  

Most of us are scared to try out new things or explore what the world has to offer outside of our comfort zones.  We are scared to take that step because we don't really know if that would be a step towards something good, or a step that would eventually take us back to where we started.  But we won't really know unless we give it a try, right?

Taking that first step is always the hardest part.  But don't let the fear of the unknown stop you from taking that step.  Being scared is normal, but when we let fear take over us, that is a different story.

It's not easy to head off into uncharted waters, but every journey starts with a first step. Fear will keep you from taking that first step, from untying the boat from the dock. Fear will also keep you from making new discoveries. Don't let fear keep you tied up, set sail and see what God has planned for you.

So today, let go of all your fears, have faith and take that first step :)

Day 10: What is your food philosophy?

My food philosophy has always been to enjoy and give in to your cravings.  It may sound unhealthy but you can always indulge yourself as long as you keep it balanced.

Eating is something I love to do, especially if it is enjoyed with family or with friends.   A simple family dinner, lunch break  at work or dinner with friends is made special because you are with great company, enjoying good food, spiced up with laughter and good conversation.

So eat and enjoy the flavors of the world :)

And the baby has arrived :)

Last March 28, 2013, we welcomed a new addition into our family.  Victoria Lumina Vertulfo-Atillo or Baby Yuna was born into this world, a few days before her father's birthday.

To my brother Lucky and my sister-in-law, China... you have been blessed to be parents.  This is a new chapter in your life, be prepared for sleepless nights, diaper changes and singing lullabies.  This also means looking forward to your baby's milestones and making so many happy memories that you would always look back to from time to time.

I won't promise you both that the road would be easy, it can be tough, it can be frustrating, stressful sometimes, but I can assure you that every time  you look into your child and see her smile or give you a hug,   you would know that all the sacrifices would be worth it.

" A Baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank roll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for". - Unknown

The Death of a Dream

I have not been able to post anything on my blog for the past couple of days.  I don't have any excuse as it was my decision to go into a "blogging hiatus".  

A headline I read on a newspaper has caught my attention and has been bothering me ever since   "UP Student kills self over tuition", and beside that headline was a photo of  Kristel Tejada, 16 years old, freshman Behavioral Science student of UP Manila.  It saddened me to realize that while there are other students who would take their studies for granted, one would choose to end her life because her dreams of getting a college education was taken away from her.

News of her tragic death caused various protests among student leaders and militant groups, and has caused grief even to those who do not know her.  The university where she was enrolled has been criticized for their "no late payment policy" which was said to be the reason why she was forced to file a leave of absence for failure to pay for her tuition fees.  Her application for a student loan has also been denied because it was the middle of the semester.  These unfortunate circumstances must have pushed her to the edge and so decided to take away her life.  Ironically, days after her death, the said policy has been lifted but sadly it was too late for Kristel.

As much as I understand how important it is for any institution to have policies and guidelines, in my opinion being forced to take a leave from your classes over failure to pay for one's tuition is cruel and unfair.  For a person who has high hopes and dreams of getting a college degree to someday provide a better future for herself and her family, being deprived of the right to education must have been to painful to bear.

One columnist for a local newspaper wrote about Kristel's death, and on her article it seems to me that she was pointing out how the parents were in a way responsible for the death because of their financial situation and being unable to provide enough for the family.  I mean don't you think that is a bit unfair?  From what I've read, the parents even went as far as begging to the school officials, to no avail.  Yes, losing a job is a reality that we all should prepare for, but losing a child is something that we as parents will never be prepared for.  Not in this lifetime, not ever!

Quoting from the article, "The education of every child is the responsibility of the parent, not the state."  Yes I agree, but I think that it is also the state's obligation to make sure that those less privileged be given the equal opportunity to get a good college education, and that getting a good education would not just be a dream, but a reality.  Something they can look forward to and hope for.  I guess that is why we have state colleges and universities, so those students with limited finances or those coming from low income families can also enjoy the right to a good education.

Kristel's death is a tragic story.  But I hope that her death would not be in vain.  The university where she was enrolled are now looking into reforms in their enrollment policy.  Hopefully, the government would start to regulate tuition fee increases, and allocate more budgets for education.

I hope that your story, would not just be "another story".  I really hope that something good would come out of this tragedy, and that the lessons that your death taught us would not be forgotten,  May your soul rest in peace...

Day 8: Post a picture of something that you recently bought

The items that I bought recently were not for me, but for my niece.  I found these cute booties with a heart shaped smiley on top and a floral baby jumpsuit with a matching cap.  I also included a baby organizer that can hold diapers, feeding bottles, and other baby essentials.

Shopping for baby stuff is fun, and I think I would be doing more in the coming weeks, especially when the baby arrives! :)

Obviously an excited aunt!

Insta-Friday: Sinulog Week

It's the 1st day of February and the last day of the week!  Whew!  How time flies!  Since I promised to dedicate Fridays to sharing photos I post on Instagram, here are some photos taken during the Sinulog week.  Enjoy!

Magellan's Cross

Micah enjoyed watching the colorful floats

Candles being offered, it almost filled up the shrine...

One of the parade participants who managed to flash that sweet smile!

Colorful key chains being sold in every stall I see around the city :)

One of my favorite floats during the parade

A photo with a Festival queen in SM

Too bad we were not able to get the kids matching t-shirts :(

A pyromusical was a great way to end the celebration

It was a fun week.  My favorite part was watching the fire works two-nights in a row :)  We were at the parking lot of a mall waiting for the fire works to start,  just enjoying watching the kids goofing around, sitting beside my husband and feeling so happy and contented.  

These are the moments that makes life so beautiful.  Until our next Sinulog!