Inside your Circle

 It has been a while since I wrote something for my blog. I always seem to have so many things on my mind, but every time I start to put my thoughts into writing they end up being drafts or a collection of words on paper.  But today I decided to sit down in front of my computer and write about something I think would help make our lives a little "less stressful".

I think one of the reasons why we sometimes feel unhappy about our lives, is that we worry so much about how other people perceive us, we get affected by other peoples words and actions and most of us have a tendency to dwell on those negative emotions for a long time. 

One harsh reality is that sometimes no matter how nice you are, or how good you are to people, there will always be that someone who would think otherwise.  It can be a workmate, a classmate, a "so called friend", an employer or even a family member.  And what's worse is we give them control over our feelings by reacting negatively to whatever it is they say or do.  Remind yourself that you will never have control about how others feel towards you or what they think of you, but you will always have control over you own thoughts, feelings and actions.  You can choose to react negatively towards them or you can choose to maintain your own peace of mind and not dwell too much on things that are out of your control.

Imagine yourself inside your own circle.  Remind yourself of things YOU can control, and learn to let go of things you have no control over...

Sun, Sea and Me...

I have been out of the blogging sphere for a very long time.  I keep telling myself I need to go back to writing, yet when I start to sit down and try to put my feelings into words, things just go blank.  I guess I just had a lot on my plate lately, and I needed to sort things out for myself as well.

The past weekend, I had the opportunity to break away from my usual routine and head off to Daanbantayan with hubby and the kids.  I knew that I needed time away from the busy city life and from being a psychiatric resident even just for one day.  Even the thought that I had my monthly visitor didn't dampen my mood.  I was looking forward to a day at the beach, enjoying the breeze and feeling the sand in my toes.

The sea has a calming effect on me.  Did I ever mention that I grew up in our ancestral home, with the beach at the back of the house?  I remember learning how to swim by being thrown by my uncle into the water.  I would try my best to swim like a dog until I reach the foot bridge.  My brothers and I had so many happy childhood memories spent in our backyard with the sea within our reach.  

I just love the feel of the salt sea air on my skin,  I could just sit down and stare into the ocean until the sun sets and the day is over.  I guess we all need time to escape from the worries of everyday life and just live our life the best way we know how.  That one day spent at the beach has helped me recharge and put a lot of things in perspective.  It made me realize that no matter how busy we all get, we must never sacrifice the things that we all hold close to our hearts.  Somehow, I finally decided to slowly go back into doing the things I used to do... Taking small steps one day at a time...

The Past

Every person has a painful past.

No matter how strong you appear on the outside.  

Even if you put on a happy face...

I know that deep inside your heart 

There is a part that silently bleeds in pain.

Sometimes we choose to hide the pain behind our smile...

We choose to go on with our lives and pretend 

That somehow, someday that pain would go away...

But no matter how we try to hide, 

We can never run away from the painful memories...

So instead of trying to get away from the past, 

Sometimes it might be best to accept everything that happened..

To learn to live with the past and try to move on for the future...

To let go and free ourselves from thinking about what might have been...

To one day look back at the past without feeling the pain in your heart.

..

Realizations

A few weeks back I celebrated my birthday.  I am grateful to have been given another year to be with my family and friends.  At 36, I have lived a life of love and laughter, tears and pain, joys and sorrows... 

I have gone through so much in my life and I always thought that I would be ready for whatever it is would be coming my way, but I realized that you can never be ready for something unless it smacks you right in the face.  This brings me to certain realizations which I would want to share...

I have realized that indeed bad things can happen to good people, not because they deserve it but because there are certain people who are just too selfish to realize that their actions can lead to very painful situations in the future.

I have realized that life can really pull you down until you are down on your knees and their is nothing left for you to do but pray for the strength to stand up again.

I have realized that to "forgive and forget" is easier said than done and that no matter how you try, you can't separate one from the other.

I have realized that acceptance is an important factor in letting go.  Once we learn to accept the things that happened to us, no matter how painful they are, we can slowly learn to let go of the memories that haunt us along with the emotions that are linked to those memories...

I have realized that you should never blame yourself for what others do to you.  Do not hold yourself accountable for the action of others.

I have realized that you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself for a period of time; But don't drown yourself in tears.  Know when to say "enough with the drama" and carry on.

I have realized that healing is a process, and that it comes when we learn to forgive those who have wronged us.  Healing comes when we let go of the pain, free ourselves from hatred and try to move on with our lives.

I have realized that no matter what you are going through, there is always a reason to say that "life is still worth living"...

I have realized that life is always about options.  You can either choose to do wrong or do what is right.  You can either choose to be a saint or a sinner.  You can either stay or walk away.  You can either be miserable or do something great.  You can either love or hate.  You can either be happy or sad.  It is all up to you...

Once you have made that decision to do something, make sure to stand by whatever choices you have made in your life.  Because there would be no rewinds, no replays, no second chances.

Living my life one day at a time...