A Work in Progress

I have been on hiatus from blogging for quite some now... 2 months and 1 week to be exact.  I just had so many things going on and it overwhelmed me to the point where each day passed by in a blur.

The past months I felt like I was walking on thin ice and any moment I could just fall deep down in cold waters and sink into oblivion.  There were days when I wanted to just crawl into a ball and cry myself to sleep.  But most days I carry on with my life trying to be okay because I had to be for the sake of my loved ones.

  I thank God for work because it kept my mind from all the things I did not want to think about.  But sometimes the painful memories finds itself slowly into consciousness and I battle with myself every time the hurt sets in.

You may see me with a smile on my face, but behind those smiles is a woman who has gone through her worst nightmares but managed to wake up from it and face a brand new day.  

Things are much better now.  Everything is where they are supposed to be.  I thank the Lord for giving me the strength to face each day with a happy heart.  Of course there are bad days but I never let it get the best of me.

I have learned that every day is a work in progress.  That we should learn to live each day as it comes and try not to worry about what happens next. I too am a work in progress. There are times when I fall into the sadness spell, but I guess that is okay as long as I know how to snap out of it before it eats me up whole.

In summary, I guess no matter what you have been through, no matter how difficult things are right now.  I promise you, things will be okay.  You will be okay.  Believe me I have been there, and I can say that I am more than okay.

Livin and Lovin It

It has officially been a month since I started my residency training.  I have now adapted to a whole new morning routine which includes waking up early, having breakfast with my two boys, and my daily walk from the main building where I log in for our biometrics, to our own building located just beside the TB Pavilion.  I have also adjusted to going on 24 hours duty every 5 days, and sleeping alone in our residents quarters which I found out just recently that it used to be the operating room of the old hospital.  I guess that explains why there are tiles on the walls!  It can be creepy sometimes, but as long as I don't feel someone grabbing my foot I think I can manage...

I can't believe it has been a month!  Time really does fly when you enjoy what you are doing.  But working in our institution is not a walk in the park.  It's not easy to be hearing stories about how these patients suddenly changed their behavior, how a once loving son could suddenly turn violent towards his mother, or how a mother could do harm to her own child.  It takes a bucket of patience and a really big heart to be here, and I pray to the Lord each day to grant me the wisdom, the strength, the courage to help these patients and their families.

I still have a long way to go... but I am optimistic about what lies ahead of me.  I am living my life each and every day, hoping that somehow in my own little way I am able to make a difference to everyone I meet.  I am living each day looking forward to learning new things, and hopefully being able to share whatever it is I learn to those that would come after me.  I am living my life according to how I want to live it, not on how others expect my life to be.

We only have one life to live, so we might as well live it to the fullest.  Live a meaningful life and make sure you don't look back with any regrets.

Why limit yourself when there are endless possibilities waiting to be discovered?

Just a Recap

I love Sundays.  It's the only day of the week where I have the luxury of waking up a little later than what I am normally used to.  But today I woke up really late, I guess my body was catching up on sleep since the past week has been quite hectic.

My week started off a bit stressful.  I was on 24 hours duty last Monday, which also happened to be a local holiday so my other co-residents had the day off.  It was my first solo duty so honestly I was a bit anxious, but things went smoothly, we had around 9 consults, 2 referrals and I had 3 patients for observation in the acute area.

My next 24 hours duty fell on Friday the 13th.  But the day did not turn out to be unlucky after all.  I was able to attend Micah's recognition during my one hour break, and got there just in time before her name was called.  My interns brought food in the evening, so it saved me from buying my dinner.  We were able to sit down and enjoy dinner without any calls from the ER for patients coming in or referrals.  

I think I had my share of bad luck when I found out that we were asked to attend a strategic planning workshop at the City hall the following day.  I was already looking forward to spending Saturday at home with the kids, but since it was a hospital memo I had no choice but to be there.  But the workshop did not turn out to be bad after all.  It was a strategic planning workshop of the anti-mendicancy board  and I honestly learned something from the workshop.  It was a shock for me to find out that there is a city ordinance penalizing mendicants/beggars as well as those who would give money to them.  I just forgot to ask if giving food would also be counted...   

I was quite unsure of the Cebu city's vision of having a mendicant free city by 2015. But I guess if you dare to dream then might as well dream big.  I just hope that whatever plans and ideas discussed during the workshop would really be implemented.  We need a long term solution to this problem and not just a band-aid fix like picking up vagrants on the street who they suspect to be psychotic but only to find out on evaluation that he has been walking around looking for food and was hungry.  I guess any person who has not eaten in days would have a brief psychotic episode.

Tomorrow is the start of another week.  I don't really know what lies ahead but I am positive that things happen for a reason and that there is always a lesson to be learned in everything...

Thank you for dinner guys 😊

The group of interns and PGI I go on duty with

Our group from Sotto who attended the workshop

The committee on health and sanitation from the City Heath Office, CCMC and VSMMC

There is still so much out there to be learned...